Thursday, September 22, 2005

Today Tonight or just a C*** Of An Affair

So I take it that there is a man shortage in Australia at the moment if one is to believe Today Tonight on Channel 7.

What is it about these gossip column shows that seem to think that they are a news program? What is it about the presenters that make them think that if they have a stern look on their faces and go "tsk tsk" that their words mean anything to anyone? Do they think that they are able to change the attitude of the world with their limited experiences and half-baked opinions? I mean, they can't even correctly use simple terminology when they speak, let alone be a moral judge of anything!

OK - before I get sidetracked too much more: The Great Aussie Man Drought


Australia is officially in a "man drought", with more young women than men. To help women out, we found the suburbs with the most single men.


Let me guess how this story got started…. There is this newsroom in the land of Nod of almost-literate, wannabe-professional writers calling themselves 'journalists'. One of the females states that there are no good men left in the world after having done her latest Sex-In-The-City meaningful overnight interlude with someone whose name she can't remember, but it is obviously his fault somehow that she was left unsatiated. Someone thinks: **BOING** "we can make a story out of this!" (while ignoring the infinite number of stories that they could be doing that would actually mean something, like: why are the politicians seeking to introduce more laws for road-users when the police don't enforce the laws we already have?)
[Before anyone asks, I only saw this story because the TV was on for background noise while I happened to be working on something more important]

Maybe there is someone from Channel 7 who can tell me just what it is that makes a man desirable to a woman? Let me tell you for A FACT that it ISN'T having a decent job, a home to call his own, a nice car, clean habits, and good friends! In fact, it seems that in teaching oneself to cook, clean, wash, iron, sew (kinda), type, as well as the outside chores and being good with one's hands to the point that one can fix or build most things that he sets his mind to, apparently is a great turnoff for most women. I wonder if it has something to do with not actually being needed for anything other than companionship?
[Before I cop it about this one, when I say 'companionship': I mean just that. I don't mean 'sex slave' or any other kind of slave!]

The facts of this reality is that seemingly women want imitation bad boys. They want these skinny little freaks with poofy little tattoos. The little boys are the same height as the woman and wear with an overpriced, backwards-facing hat on their head and a ridiculous little car that "...looks so cute". The car isn't worth half of what they spent on it and could have bought a property instead had they had anything resembling a clue about what they were doing. Did I also mention that these women also like to be treated like dirt? The little boy that they chose to be theirs also (usually) has the attitude of a rottweiler in the frame of a chihuahua - and since the girl is the only one they can dominate, well you do the math.

As for the ones who don't want the bad boy, they're the ones that have already been used and abused and have kids already -or- have this notion in their head that spitting out a series of screaming shit-machines is the next thing they need to do with their lives.

Let me ask you this before we go any further…. Do you think that there are enough people on this planet already? Are there enough starving children in Africa and India? Instead of bowing to some should-have-long-been-bred-out need to procreate, would it not be far wiser to give some kid that has already been born a good start at becoming the next generation rather than allowing him or her to die simply because the one you wanted had to be your own?
Should you decide to have kids of your own, just remember that you are still 18 or 20 or whatever you are and still have the smarts (or lack thereof) of someone that age. Even though you may be called a 'mother', you have not gained the wisdom of the ages simply because you became a sperm receptacle while in a drunken stupor.

Anyway - back to the rant at hand… man shortage.

Here are my tips for a bloke to use if he is to want a nice woman in Australia today:

1. Hang around bars and be drunk. Spewing on the footpath shows that you like to have fun and makes it you look cool.
2. Use all the foul language that you would around your mates - she doesn't act like a lady so there is no way she needs to be treated like one.
3. If she speaks to a bloke she works with while out of the office, slap her around a bit and call her a slut as they seem to like that.
4. Treat her like she is your property. Start a fight and be immature about it when another bloke even looks at her.
5. Treat her like a sex toy. Pretend that you're not really gay when you tell her that you want to "roll her over". She even expects you to make comment about a threesome with her best friend.
6. Show her no respect at all. Her opinion doesn't count either.
7. Consideration? Forget it. Don't you know that it is the dream of all women to find the most moronic lowlife so she can "change" him into the perfect man. If you do show her any consideration, you must be pussy-whipped and have had your nuts cut off.
8. She will complain about you being immature and that she can do nothing with you. Ignore this - this is really what she wants (she must do - otherwise, why would she stay?)

[You think I am being sarcastic and are joking, don't you?? I am not! This is what I see every goddamn day!!]

What to do if a bloke wants to stay single:
1. Be clean.
2. Be resourceful.
3. Be honest and honourable and be willing to be there at her side no matter when she needs you. Your idea of being a 'man' and hers are vastly different.
4. Be respectful & courteous. Treat her like a lady.
5. Be remotely mature about what you do in your life before she gets there. If she can't give you guidance on what you should and shouldn't do, you are no use to her.
6. Think of domestic violence as being abhorrent. You should never lift your hand to someone weaker and smaller than you anyway.
7. Drink in moderation and maintain your dignity and composure when out in public with her. Being well-behaved in such a way that will make you look like a good couple is just not on!
8. Dress well and know which knife and fork to use when at dinner.
9. Going out to dinner means a nice restaurant that doesn't always have steak & veg. The restaurant should not have a drive-thru lane nor "fries with that?"
10. Don't be anything that resembles a civilised and well-adjusted male - she desires the challenge to train and teach you to be "perfect".

32 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nilk said...

Rough day, Matt?

Obviously there are far too many bushpigs out your way.

I'm past the boys. Would rather have a man, but since I don't seem to know any, I'll keep going without. I've got one child a cat and 2 goldfish. No more pets (until I get the budgies in the next couple of weeks!)

Although I do agree with you re the brats squashing out the next gen of bludgers. I've met a few of them. Hell, girls I went to school with years ago took it up as a career path. 2 of them even had a comp running to see who could have theirs fastest.

Takes all sorts.

cheers!

Nilk said...

before I pike - OT About the only name I liked while pregnant was Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. LOL. Luckily for her, I had a girl, and she's not named after a cartoon character. Well, except for on my blog, of course.

Anonymous said...

It seems that I'm a freakish woman, but I have the really strange habit of not dating men who treat me badly. I just break up with them.
I'm sure I get your point about children. If the urge to procreate was non-existent then there wouldn't be any people at all. Do you really wish for the end of humanity?

Caz said...

Wow - you sure have been hanging out in a bad neighbourhood for a few too many decades!

Get the hell out of there before you start thinking this is how the world really looks!

Jai Normosone said...

Bad neighbourhood? I think it's called 'Australia'. I don't think I really have rough days - it's just that it gets to me more on some days than others.

A friend from Germany came out here as an exchange student and said that it was difficult at school as there is no incentive for anyone to be mature - so they don't.

Maybe it's just me but I see less and less people taking pride in themselves. They have no integrity and honesty and honour and just want to do what they can do to get what they want before moving on.

I don't wish to see the end of humanity but I would like to see people think a bit more about their actions. There are kids out there in our own country with cruddy lives and no food or nobody to care for them but nobody seems to want them. They're getting used and abused by rock-spiders and their start in life is drugs, alcohol and crime and they're being deprived of the chance to be kids.

I don't hate kids - I just don't see a need to have any of my own while there are others out there who can benefit.

Nilk said...

You are right about people not wanting to grow up. The Peter Pan complex is alive and well.

Regarding children and the hurdles so many of them face, I'm in agreement there. One of my aunts has a couple of foster kids. They are a brother and sister, and they lived a nightmare until they got with her.

She's had the girl from about 18 months, and the brother from about 5 years. It took a battle, but my aunt now has them until they are 16. The girl is 5 or 6 now, and it wasn't until she was 4 that she could sleep the night through without nightmares. The boy has scars on him that appear to be burns, but won't talk about them, and the only language he used to know was that of abuse. It took ages for him to realise that he wouldn't be getting a hiding for doing the wrong thing.

These kids also have other siblings farmed out amongst their own extended blood-family, and the mother needs to be educated forcibly via a four by two. The amount of money spent on intervention programs for some of these lowlifes is phenomenal. All in the name of keeping up the appearance of a happy family.

This is all happening in a small to medium sized country town, too.

Jai Normosone said...

One of my nieces has gone through the similar treatment. Thanks to the utter ineptitude of the office of Child Welfare or whatever it is called in Ipswich, this girl was left in a house with a bloke who was forcing threesomes with her mother AND taking photographs.

The bureaucrats are just as much to blame for the damage to that girl as the one with cranial lead deficiency. I would not be surprised if the girl did not know that her father died over a year ago from cancer (same as what got my mum this year). Last we heard, her mother had another daughter and the girl, although now 16, *can* move out, she has stayed so that the rock-spider will leave the young one alone.

Now - can some do-gooder tell me that the system works? I would like a do-gooder to say that the death penalty is not an option if they walked in on some grown male doing things like that to a pre-pubescent girl - particularly a daughter or close blood relative.

For the record: my family steadfastly refuse to tell me where the people live. I'll probably get picked up by the police on the way there - but only if I speed.

Nilk said...

The scary thing is that what your niece is going through is not uncommon. I know a fellow (I christened him Uncle Pervy years ago) who likes to pretend he is a filmmaker. He wrote one of the worst scripts I have ever read. He called it a fantasy, I called it a wet dream of rape and abuse.

Needless to say, I never worked with him.

This tosser also has naked photos of his sister and her daughter up on his walls as 'art'. Apparently he stopped taking photos of the daughter when she realised that she could say no to him when she was around 16.

He is also another good reason to stay away from nudist beaches. He likes to frequent them.

He is one of the few people I've met who physically nauseates me.

Excuse my french here, but fucking rockspiders and perverts need to be castrated via blunt razor blades with no anaesthetic.


(I'm really sweet and gentle, I promise!)

Jai Normosone said...

Unfortunately, the problem with rape, incest and paedophilia is that it's not about sex and more about power. If you take away the means to have sexual intimacy with one object then it will happen with another - and quite possibly with more force and violence.

So - instead of a castration with a rusty razor and no anaesthetic; consider maybe using a nail gun to 'fasten' them to a wooden platform (through legs, arms, scrotum, etc) and then set fire to it. Create terror in their mind similar to what they have inflicted on those who really did not deserve what was done to them.

Does this make me as bad as the creature who has perpetrated acts like this on the young and the weak? I don't care! Justice has to be swift and sure and it has to be seen to be done. Sitting in protective custody with 3 squares a day; a bed and a tv; hot and cold running counsellors on tap; no rent; no persecution from society; while the victim gets a "sorry" and an "on your way now".

I would do this to a rockspider and not lose a minute of sleep over it.

Caz said...

Jai - not many men recognise, or are prepared to admit, that sexual abuse, of every variety, is about power, NOT sex. That's not a "feminist" slant; that's a fact. So I was surprised to see your comments, and I agree.

Weird thing is though - I thought your blog piece was all about women having bad taste in men, complaining endlessly about it, and being too stoopid to go out with the nice guys?! Such as your good self, for example.

That's what MY first comment was about!

Jai Normosone said...

Uh yeah... you're right... :)
I will admit that it is easy for me to get sidetracked in a conversation :)

If you know anyone old enough to remember (take it as a compliment if you are old enough :) The Two Ronnies (Ronnie Barker & Ronnie Corbett) when they had their show on TV (replayed on the ABC here after it aired on the BBC), think to the joke session that Ronnie Corbett used to have at the end of the show. He would start the joke and then get sidetracked and go on about other things and then in the last minute come back to the ** Hey, look - A duck!!
Oh yeah... he would come back to the joke in the last minute.

I often wonder if that is how I am in conversation sometimes :)

I don't think I have been hanging out in a bad neighbourhood for too long as I live in quite a nice area in my own home (well... the cats let me live in their house. They're very kind to me :) It's just that I see girls hitching up with boys that any fool can see that they will be used, abused and dumped - but for some reason, I don't seem to be good enough for any of them.

I guess because I don't feel the need to be a sexual predator and to add notches to the headboard and detest the concept of one-night stands is where I go wrong.
Seems that treating a woman with respect and not going the grope makes you "the friend" and thus are immediately deemed to be trustworthy but not worthy of a relationship.

It's good to be this way in some ways because I'll leave no emotional wrecks behind me but JEEZ!! Haven't those that complain about there not being any decent blokes in the world worked out that the one who is your friend is the one that will stay with you and be there when you need him??

So, you see? My ideas are already screwed up.... It seems that I must live in some kind of fantasy world thinking that a woman wants a bloke that will be a trusted friend.

Jai Normosone said...

Oh yeah... the comments about rape and such being about power and not sex came from a good friend.

I've found that I'll learn a lot from women when I shut my mouth and listen once in a while :)

Nilk said...

jai I think you might find that girls are silly enough to equate niceness with boring. God knows I was dumb enough to once or twice in the past.

I'm just glad I'm past all that crap.

Look at what kids are growing up amongst these days - you want to read a real horror story? Check out Dolly magazine. Supposedly for 14 year olds, it's actually aimed at 10-12 yo's. I used to read it when I was about 15, but there were never letters in the Dolly Doctor column discussing genital herpes and chlamydia. Nor were there discussions on oral sex and whether a boyfriend respects you if you won't put out. It's appalling; even more so when you have a daughter of your own. No wonder my kid only reads what I give her and only watches what I deem fit. (I know, Spiderman isn't really appropriate for a 3yo, but she decided she likes it *shrug* and it doesn't give her nightmares.)

At a time when young people are trying to find their identity, the marketing machine is doing its best to mould them also. Unfortunately, the casualties don't discover the damage to themselves for a long time after.

We can also add in to the mix parents who work long hours then come home too tired to deal with their kids' issues. This is not an accusation, just a fact. It's always been that way, and probably always will be. The only difference from way back when was that at least there was usually one parent available to provide a counterbalance to external forces.

Bugger. Now I'm starting to rant. Sorry :)

Anyway, my point is.... what is it again?

Oh, yeah, girls get stuck watching dross like Desperate Housewives and Home and Away and all the reality crap you can eat. They get distorted views on what sort of behaviours are acceptable.

Personally, I'm over bad boys. I'd like to meet a NICE man for a change.

Jai Normosone said...

I never really thought about the nice/boring issue... If truth be known, I do live a consistent and seemingly boring life but it isn't really like that. I do a lot of things that other people shy away from. Try riding a bicycle on a busy road in Brisbane in the morning - you know you're doing well when you get to the other end alive!

You're right about the crap that kids are subjected to thanks to the media and skanks like the Hilton sisters. If those two weren't made celebrities simply because they have an inheritance and a well-known name, they'd be selling their 'wares' on an hourly basis! What Trey Parker and Matt Stone did with Paris Hilton on South Park was nothing short of brilliant - I loved it! :)

I say to let your daughter grow up liking Spider-Man. I used to read the comics a lot when I was younger and, even though it was a comic, the characters had incredible depth. Peter Parker was in a constant struggle within himself to deal with his skills. His uncle Ben said "With great power comes great responsibility" and I think a lot more people could learn this. There was a 'mother' (term used VERY loosely) at a bus stop the other day with her daughter. The 'mother' had a shirt on with 'Fuck Off Nazi Punks" (excuse language) on it. While the sentiment may have been virtuous - she was ignoring the power she had over the young mind and that young girl may just grow up to be as stupid and moronic and undisciplined as her foolish mother.

OK - so what is a "NICE" man in your eyes? I know what a "man" should be (I grew up watching a lot of the old movies that my parents watched as kids :) but what is a "nice" man to a woman?

Caz said...

Jai – ah, where to begin, where to begin? How much time do we have?

I’ll have to be brief:

Firstly, you probably need to stop letting the women do the judging and choosing. That is, stop with the whole “they don’t think I’m good enough” thing. How about YOU make the decision on whether or not THEY are good enough for you? Time for you to take on the mantle of judge and jury, instead of letting women, or anyone, judge you. Take back your control and start demanding a higher standard from women, including a higher standard in their tastes and choices in men. You pick, you choose, you judge, you decide.

Secondly, forget the “great friend” thing. While you are busy judging and deciding, you need to be on the look out for chemistry. Yes, chemistry and passion will keep any relationship together, even when love waxes and wanes – which it does. Friendship keeps friends together, but chemistry and passion – that irresistible mix – keep lovers together. Under those circumstances, friendship is NOT always a given, so you have to have friendship as the third requirement on your list.

In relation to the second point – you are the person to make the decision on whether or not you feel any chemistry (we do this when we make new platonic friends too, but we don’t think about it, because we’re not planning to exchange bodily fluids) – don’t passively leave it up to women to “pick” you; go out and judge, assess, weight things up, decide and reject or pursue, to validate and confirm if there really is “something” there worth nurturing & romancing. If so, make it clear that you are not in the business of being “just” a friend, but want to explore wider possibilities, and make it clear that if it doesn’t work out, you WILL cut your losses and keep exploring the landscape until you find someone who meets your needs and your standards.

Chemistry? We can all misread that one, or at least kid ourselves. The chemistry has to be a two way street, but don’t be surprised when it sometimes turns out to be nothing more than wishful thinking. We’ve all been there.

So, chemistry, passion, friendship, love, and, not last, commitment. That final one is also what you need to have in mind, because without it, all that passion will just go wondering out the door at some random moment.

Don’t stop being a “nice” guy, but do stop letting women make all the decisions about YOUR happiness and well being in relationships.

Be very clear and very goal oriented about what you want too, and that means being very honest with yourself about whether or not you want to be in a relationship, and if so, how you want it to look, and what kind of person you want to be with - again, only you can know these things and act on them. Don't leave it up to other people and don't leave it up to "fate" to "just happen" some day - it won't.

It's no different to setting and achieving any other goal. So, really, your first task is probably to think about and define your real goals when in comes to finding your partner in crime. Give it a lot of thought, and write down your ideas and whims, and re-work them as much as you need to, until you have a very clear and honest view of how you want your future relationship to look. Then it will be time to set about making it happen.

Nilk said...

Thank you, Caz, for your words of wisdom. You put it much better than I could.

I've been tossing up how to answer jai all arvo while roaming the streets down here, and couldn't for the life of me think of a way to phrase it so it didn't sound like a shopping list for me :)

Friendship, chemistry, passion, commitment, all those things.

If you can hold to those, and not settle for less, then you should be fine. It's not easy; bloody frustrating at times (where can I get a good backrub??), but in the long run, you are the most important person in your life.

Bleh. I sound like a Whitney Houston song. Sorry. :)

These days, I'd rather live alone forever rather than settle for second best. I deserve more than that, and so do you.

Nick and Nora Charles said...

Caz and Nilknarf,
Thank you both for your words of wisdom and encouragement for Jai.

I'm glad he is hearing these things from other poeple in addition to his off-line friends.

Jai's quite a catch for some lucky lady and with a little encouragement as well as exuding a little more confidence I know it won't take too long for Ms Right to notice.

But we might have to practice some of your opening line though... ;-)

-- Nora

Caz said...

Jai & nilknarf - don't ever forget the really weird thing about this whole mating game business: the one who is "it" almost never looks the way you thought they should; never has the interests or job that you thought were important; never dresses the way you had in mind; and so on and so on.

In other words, they almost never match the mental image that you have nurtured of the kind of person you had in mind as being the perfect match for the image you have of yourself. (Do you like that for a really contorted sentence!! Sorry, can't think of how to put it clearly.) Hence why the chemistry thing is an important clue, that should always be followed-up, just in case; you just never know.

nilknarf - hope I made the shopping list a bit shorter for you. Much easier when the list is short enough to remember, and helps keep you quite focused. I'm very sure you won't be alone forever.

Jai Normosone said...

Caz,

Like other people who have tried to advise me in the past, you make damn good sense. There are so many elements that need to change in order for what you say to work and sometimes there are just too many conditions that are no in my favour. Of course I'm not a quitter but sometimes you need to take stock in whether a fight is worth fighting or not....

I'm not short and I'm not stick-thin - so when I approach a woman, I often see an element of fear in their eyes simply because of my size (not fat either.... OK, a little bit but not gross or anything. I also grew up with the rule of power - that you always obeyed someone older or bigger (parents, brothers, etc) or you got a flogging for it. Since I have a bit of size and strength (trying to not sound egotistical here) and I know that if I were to turn it on, I can quite easily force someone to do my will - but that is NOT what I want. If a woman is to feel something for me, I'd like it to be through free will and to be mutual rather than out of any element of fear. I have nothing to prove and I never argue or fight with someone I care about - there are enough bad people in the world I can do that to without having to hurt those important to me (should it come to that, of course).

What this means, of course, is that in not needing to exert power over someone, I don't feel the need to hang onto it and will happily give it up to someone who might not normally have it. Yes, it does make me look soft & boring or weak or whatever but what do I gain by forcing my will over someone I want to see happy? I have nothing to prove in acting like a caveman and donging a woman on the head with a club. OK - so there might have been some teachers at school who *.... JUST KIDDING!! :)

So friendship is 3rd on the list? Bugger... :/
I think I have plenty of passion about a lot of subjects but if there is one thing I've noticed: nice, single women wanting a bloke don't seem to want one who has strong opinions on subjects. I will never work out why having a conviction (um... not a criminal one - I mean the opinion one....) is such a bad thing. Am I supposed to sit on the fence about every single subject and put on a facade until I land a nice one and then let her see the real me? Sounds very dishonest and not something that sits well with me.

Uh... yeah.... exchanging bodily fluids.... hmmm....
I've been told that this is where I go wrong since I don't go actively looking for this action. If I wanted a nameless female for a couple of hours then there are professionals who do that without having to use some girl that was too drunk to know better. I'm happy to live without that confusion in my life until I can find someone that means something to me. If I was driven to go out and find another one every Friday night, it would seem pointless when a knothole in a tree would serve the same purpose (but give it a kick first to get the possum or the wasps out..... :) (uh... the tree, not the woman.... :)

I appreciate the advice, I really do - but I have no damned idea what I'm doing and I will not lie in order to fool a woman into liking someone that I am not. Sure - call me stupid and subsequently sexless, but who cares about that? All I would like is a nice woman with some drive and a bit of attitude and likes to get out there and do things rather than watching from the sidelines and doesn't quit when times get tough. I say that the tall, country girls are the best but that's not a hard & fast rule either.

Chemistry.... PHOOEY!! If I knew what it was that could bring me a good one, I'd bath in it!
OK - I don't mean that as a rejection of what you say - just that I don't know what makes the chemistry work.

Funny how I've heard a few talk about backrubs and neckrubs and such. While growing up, my mum always had sore feet at the end of the day, so I would sit on the floor and trade a head scratch (for me) for a foot rub (for her). Combine that with throwing an axe around since I was 5 and now working extensively with my hands, a neck rub can last an hour now if it needs to. At least the cats appreciate the attention :)

So - thanks to all for the advice and the inspiration. All I need to do now is to take and use the advice and not chicken out :/

Nilk said...

I personally don't consider the list in order of importance. Just a list of important elements.

And as for advice from me, I just throw in my 2c worth. It's my opinion (well, one of them) and you do what you will with it. :)

I've been called Nilknarf I just Want to Say Arbed for years, and that's getting more true, not less as I get older hehe.

Being considerate of other people is not a weakness, jai. Just because you don't fit the stylised vision of australian manhood that graces the screens and pages doesn't mean you don't belong. Just need to meet people (girls) who don't put stock in those images. There are a few out there.

Stop beating up on yourself. There are always people out there who are happy to do it for you, so no need to help them.

And a good backrub is worth its weight in chocolate. They are bloody hard to come by, so never underestimate the power of a good pair of hands!

Nick and Nora Charles said...

I'm going to get tough with you Jai - STOP RUNNING YOURSELF DOWN!!

One thing women do respond to is confidence (even if it has to be faked).

That's part of human nature. People are attracted to other people who give the air of feeling comfortable with themselves.

People only get to appreciate after they get to know you. It's just the way people are.

You have all the right elements to make the ladies swoon except that lack of confidence.

Fortunately lack of confidence is not fatal and can be cured.

Nick and I should have speakings with you about creating that right first impression.

-- Nora

Nilk said...

SNAP! Nora :)

Time for bed now, up way too late again.

Jai Normosone said...

I'm probably missing something here... I didn't think that I was running myself down. It never bothers me when I do it anyway as it's only words and I'm rarely serious about them anyway. It worked well in school (where it was seemingly OK to run people until they became mental wrecks - with the help of the teachers!) as nobody bothers insulting you when you're better at it on yourself than they are! :)

I don't have a lack of confidence either - well, not from where I stand.

I'll have a go at almost anything (within reason) and will talk to almost anyone (and most times they talk back too! :)

I also consider myself to be an optimist in just about everything that I do, except when it comes to other people. I can trust myself because I know me and I know what I can and cannot do. It just seems to be when I need the best of someone else is when I get let down.

So if I am one-eyed about doing a job myself, at least I will be certain that it will get done.

Asking a woman out requires a faith that I no longer have in people. I can trust someone to maybe help me push a broken-down car out of an intersection but I cannot trust a woman to be truthful when I ask the question nor to give me the chance to prove myself.

Unfortunately, I think my confidence is often confused for arrogance or anger.

I'm not a chocolate eater either - so whenever I buy it, it's usually for someone else :)

Nilk said...

This is the joy of the intermanet: it's all so many words on a screen without the nuances of non-verbal communication (or basic things like intonation) that are such a vital part of communication.

While you are saying one thing, other people get a somewhat different view. That's one of the reasons why as much as I love mucking about online, I prefer the real world. hell, even there, though, people can still get the wrong message.

I shocked one friend last week when I told her about my blog and explained to her what a RWDB was. She nearly fell of her perch LOL! She'd never even considered that I could be lurking on the conservative side of the political divide. And we've been friends for almost 10 years. Hell, I helped produce her graduation film back in 99, so you'd think she'd know by now!

If it's any consolation, jai, I was hoping that I aren't coming off as being desperate and dateless. I mean, I am, but that's not the point.

/tongue in cheek

There are nice women out there, just like there are nice men. You'll find one one day.

As for not eating chocolate, you realise that you are therefore lacking in one of the major vitamins? (That's C. Vitamins A and B - alcohol and booze - are also highly important.)

Caz said...

Will follow-up, when I find time during the week.

Jai Normosone said...

Nilknarf,

It's OK - not for a second did I pick you to be desperate and dateless.

Seeing that you have the ability to create a sentence and string a few words together without the usual grammatical mistakes that I detest*, I thought that you were smart enough to realise that you don't need a male/boy/man to complete yourself.

[* your/you're; there/their/they're]

Which is really strange considering that I failed english at school, 12 years in a row. Seems that giving book reports on uninteresting books selected by teachers ranked right up there considering that I was running a business from home and didn't read much back then (except at meal times when I would have a comic at the table :)

Isn't chocolate a substitute for something else a woman *may* want in her life? (without being crass about it, of course :)

Nilk said...

hehe. Only if you can't combine them.




I mean, chocolate and champagne? Come on!

(bet you thought I was thinking of something else)

Jai Normosone said...

No. I wasn't thinking of anything else.... honest! :)

Here is something I bet you never knew: It is every woman's dream to have 2 men at once - both at the same time. One to cook & one to clean.

What were you thinking? :)

----

One thing in all of this, I forgot to mention that my gripe was more about the media and their ridiculous handling of stories - particularly those along the lines of what this post was originally about (before it decending into a rant... :)

I do lament that I am single and can't find anyone but, as everyone can plainly see, the fault of pretty much all of this lay with me.

I might blame women for wanting *this* bloke because he's good looking while they say that they're wanting someone intelligent & don't care about his looks (an outright lie).

What it boils down to is that I cannot play the "game", nor do I want to.

I detest liars, thieves and those who use others to suit their own ends. I won't lie in order to get a woman into bed (or anywhere else) nor will I tolerate being lied to. If I won't treat her like a fool why should I cop it sweet? No way.

It makes me wonder sometimes: Does it make me a power freak if I avoid asking someone out because I have limited control over how the situation? How the other person thinks and feels about me? I don't wish for this control nor look for someone to dominate. Hell, I have enough trouble running my own life, let alone that of someone else! I reckon that it is pointless to embark on a project that runs a high risk of being a fruitless exercise. When I do a job, I expect results - if the results aren't tangible, then it's just a waste of my time and effort.

Of course, it's that initial hurdle of finding the one that wants to be there that is tough for me. I'm selling the whole bull right from the outset, not just it's shit.

I suppose this means that I would not make a very good politician, eh? :)

There is also the knowledge that there are those out there in the world who aren't as fortunate as I am.
I have 2 arms; 2 legs; a brain that (kinda) works; a back that is reasonably strong; a work ethic; I can live with my own company, and no job is too hard to at least consider.
What about those who see nothing but despair and use alcohol or drugs or suicide to solve their problems rather than writing to a blog?
What about those with birth defects that affect their physical looks or their mental capacity?
How do they get on?

Of course, this last bit is all rhetoric as I have no answers for it - it's just what I use to remind myself when things aren't looking too bright, future wise.

Sure things could be better but they could be a lot worse too.

Caz said...

I have yummy Bulgarian body paint chocolate.....

Jai Normosone said...

Never tried body paint/chocolate.

So many things I have wondered about.....

Nilk said...

At the risk of sounding forward, I've updated my profile with my email address.

:)

Feel free to say yo. Or bugger orf lol.